


Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being

by Hello_Trash



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Chuck endfight but my way, Destiel - Freeform, Destiel endgame, Emotionally Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, F/M, I mean as happy as it gets for spn, I'm bad at tagging: the saga continues, M/M, spn said bury your gays I said ‘nay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27621346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello_Trash/pseuds/Hello_Trash
Summary: A fix it that I started writing after 15x18 but just now finished because I'm still a mess.Dean summons the Empty to get Cas back- but that won't come without a cost.Chuck is still out there wanting to finish his story and there's no one left to help them.Its the final battle and they need to do everything they can to win it.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Kudos: 21





	Happiness isn't in the having, it's in just being

‘’When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him.’’  
  
‘’You what?’’  
  
‘’The price was my life, when I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever.’’ 

This was brand new information to Dean.  
Dean knew that Cas cared severely about Jack, and that he would go to extremes to show it.  
But Cas shouldn’t have done that, and he should’ve told Dean.  
But he kept it secret for a reason, probably not wanting to add another burden to the long list of shit they were dealing with at the moment.  
  
‘’Why are you telling me this now?’’  
  
‘’I always wondered, ever since I took that burden, that curse I wondered what it could be, what, what my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer.’’

  
What was happening?  
Dean was shocked, scared, and hopeful at the same time.  
He really didn’t like where this was going though.

  
‘’Because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.’’ 

There were so many thoughts racing through Dean’s head, so many question that he couldn’t grip onto one, so he just stared with an open mouth as Cas’ eyes began to tear up.

‘’But I think I know, I think I know, now. Happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being, it’s in just saying it.’’

‘’What are you talking about man?’’  
Deep down Dean knew what Cas was talking about, but he couldn’t he, just couldn’t if Cas was planning on… no, not now. He couldn’t loose Cas again.  
  


‘’I know, I know how you see yourself Dean, you see yourself the same way our enemies see you.  
You’re destructive, you’re angry, and you’re broken, and you’re daddy’s blood instrument.  
And you think that that hate, and anger, that’s, that’s what drives you that’s who you are.’’ 

Dean was about to say that yes, that’s what drives him, that’s what he is.

But he was at a lost for words, he hated the way Cas seemed to know him down to his core, knew what he feared and who he was so well, It scared him to death. 

Because sometimes he felt that he didn’t know Cas _that_ well.  
Not on the same level as Cas knew him. 

‘’It’s not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world, for love, that is who you are.’’ 

But it wasn’t.

At least that wasn’t how Dean thought of it.  
But the way Castiel so strongly believes it is, makes him almost believe it was.  
  
‘’You’re the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know.’’ 

A tear streamed down Cas’s face.

And it broke Dean a little inside.  
  
‘’You know ever since we met, ever since, I pulled you out of hell. Knowing you has changed me.  
Because you cared, I cared.’’ 

Dean never knew that Cas started caring about humans, about the world, about what happened to everyone on it, because he started caring about Dean. 

‘’I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack. But I cared about the whole world, Because of you.’'

It was like a punch to his gut. 

‘’You changed me Dean.’’ 

‘’Why does this sound like a goodbye?’’  
  
Dean was tired of goodbyes, had heard and said them for more than 10 life times.  
And it was enough.  
he didn’t want to say goodbye to Cas, _wouldn’t_ say goodbye to Cas, because Cas wasn’t going to leave.

‘’Because it is.’’ 

No. 

‘’I love you.’’  
  
No no no, not know. Not like this.  
Dean couldn’t do it.  
He felt his body freeze, his breathing stopped, he couldn’t think, couldn’t move.  
The words where echoing around in his mind but he couldn’t grip them, couldn’t process them. 

Cas loved him.

Cas loved him.

‘’Don’t do this Cas.’’  
_Please,_ don’t do this Cas.  
If you have to die to say it, please just take it back.  
  
A black slimy portal opened, _the empty,_ it was here and it was going to take Cas.  
After Cas told him he loved him. 

Cas put his hand on Dean’s shoulder, just like he’d done so many times before in a moment of comfort. Just like he had did when he pulled him out of hell.

Dean couldn’t find comfort in it now, nor was it pulling him out of hell.  
  
‘’Goodbye Dean.’’  
Cas threw him to the ground, and Dean was no match for the heavily angel powered strength.  
He wanted to move but he couldn’t, he was stuck to the ground, wishing he could disappear into it.

Billie kicked open the door, and Cas smiled.

He smiled as the black goo swallowed him up slowly.  
Like he was happy to die, like he said what needed to be said but before he heard what he needed to hear. 

When the empty had swallowed both Cas and Billie fully it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.  
  
Leaving a defeated Dean still not being able to move.  
The only thing he could do when what just happened had started to sink in was break down and sob.

He screamed into an empty room where just a minute ago, h̶̶i̶̶s̶̶ ̶b̶̶e̶̶s̶̶t̶̶ ̶f̶̶r̶̶i̶̶e̶̶n̶̶d̶̶ Cas had been until his lungs burned.  
__________  
  
Sam had to look through the entire bunker until he thought to check the backroom with the demon trap, ( nothing good ever happened in there ) he opened the door and Dean was sitting in a corner, staring at a wall, completely out of it.

  
‘’Dean?’’ 

No reaction. 

‘’Dean!’’ Sam ran over and crouched in front of him, snapping a finger in his face while doing so.  
  
Dean blinked, but didn’t say anything. 

‘’What happened?’’ Dean looked over Sam’s shoulder, and that was when Sam noticed something was missing.

  
‘’Where’s Cas?’’

Dean let out a shaky breath, and shook his head.  
  
‘’No. Not again.’’ Sam breathed out.

They lost everyone and everything tonight. 

They had no Cas, no Charlie, no Bobby…  
…No Eileen. 

Sam let himself crash down next to Dean, both sitting with their backs against the wall. 

‘’He’s gone Sammy.. he’s gone.’’

‘’How?’’

‘’The Empty, he, he made a deal. To save Jack.’’ 

Sam noticed how Dean was having trouble keeping his voice normal.  
It cracked here and there, and he spoke slowly, as if testing the words, to see if they were the right ones.  
  
‘’What kind of deal?’’ 

Dean stared at the ground, then after a few more slow breaths he said; ’’It would only, it would only come, when- if, he found true happiness.’’

‘’Oh.’’

Sam had a vague idea what that might be, but if they were having this conversation, Dean needed to talk, Sam wasn’t going to pry to get there. 

They were silent for a while, until Dean spoke again. 

‘’Cas told me, he, apparently, I, I’m his…’’  
  
Dean fell silent again.  
His eyes drifted away from Sam and Dean stared at the wall again as he said.  
‘’True happiness.’’  
  
‘’Wow. That’s, that’s, wow.’’

‘’Did you know?’’ Dean asked suddenly, a bit sharper than he had been talking before.

  
‘’About the deal? No. But about Cas? I mean, I, I think so, it was the way he looked at you.’’  
Sam laughed, but it sounded more like a sad hiccup.

‘’Sometimes I thought that it was just because he’s an angel, and he didn’t know it was rude to stare or something, but later on I understood that you only look at someone like that, when…  
When you’re their whole world.’’  
  
It had been how Sam and Eileen looked at each other.

Dean swallowed, nodded, and broke down. 

‘’Hey, hey it’s okay. It’s okay Dean, We’ll get him back.’’  
  
‘’He’s gone, Sammy, forever, and I never said, I never told him-‘’ 

Sam hugged his brother.  
  
‘’I think he knew Dean, I think he knew.’’ 

Dean gripped his brother tight.

‘’He didn’t. He, he- thought.’’  
Dean’s words where coming out in raspy breaths.

  
‘’Dammit.’’ Dean slapped Sam’s shoulder in frustration, Sam didn’t let go, it also didn’t hurt because Dean didn’t have any energy left, and because Dean would never hurt him on purpose.  
  
‘’He thought, he could- ne, never have me.’’  
  
‘’Charlie’s gone.’’ 

‘’Wha?’’ 

‘’They’re all gone Dean.’’ 

‘’Jack?’’ 

‘’Except me and Jack.’’  
  
Dean let out a shaky breath.

‘’Cas death’s isn’t in vain, we still got Jack, and we’re gonna get him back.’’

‘’How?’’ Dean asked, his voice full of desperation. 

‘’I don’t know, we’ll find a way. Like we always do.’’

Dean shook his head in Sam’s shoulder.

Sam sighed.

‘’You need to rest Dean, C’mon, I’m gonna get you to your room.’’ 

Sam let go of Dean carefully, stood up slowly and offered a hand to help his brother up. 

But Dean eyes focused on something else, lying on the ground, a weapon dropped by someone who’d disappeared into nothingness.

  
  


Billie’s scythe.  
  
_______________

  
Dean and Sam are sitting in Dean’s room, with Dean holding the scythe and looking at it like it holds the answer to all his questions. 

Maybe it did. 

There was a knock on the door. 

‘’Oh god.’’ Sam rubbed at the space between his eyebrows.

‘’Guys? Can I come in?’’ Jack’s voice was heard trough the door.

  
‘’Do you want me to talk to him? I can just go and-.’’ Sam began. 

‘’No. I was there, he deserves to know.’’

Sam nodded.  
He didn’t think that Dean was in any state to relive what had just happened, but Billie’s  
scythe had also given Dean some hope, a little of the spark in his eyes had come back. 

They still seemed too empty though. 

‘’Come in Jack.’’

‘’Hi Sam, hi Dean. Uh, I was actually looking for Cas, have you seen him?’’

‘’Jack, why don’t you sit down buddy?’’ 

Jack frowned, hand still on the doorknob and gripping it tightly.  
  
‘’Why?’’ 

‘’I need to tell you something.’’

‘’Where’s Cas?’’ 

Dean looked away, and Jack had his answer.

  
‘’No…’’  
  
Sam stood up, walking over to Jack to try and comfort him. 

‘’I’m so sorry Jack, Cas, he- he’s gone. ’’  
  
Jack slapped the hand Sam was trying to put on his shoulder away.

‘’Don’t. Don’t.’’ Jack looked at Sam, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. 

‘’Jack, you need to know what happened.’’ Dean said.

‘’What I _need_ is Castiel!’’ Jack screamed. 

‘’We don’t have to talk about this now if you don’t want to.’’ Sam said, a soft look in his face.

‘’I can’t, I can’t… I’m sorry but I cannot stay here. I need to go.’’

‘’Jack, you can’t, it’s too dangerous! Chuck’s still out there!’’  
  
‘’I don’t care.’’ And with that, Jack slammed the door and stormed out of the room. 

‘’Jack wait!’’ Sam screamed. 

‘’Let him go, he needs some air.’’ 

____________________

‘’Dean, are you sure? What if it doesn’t want to work with us? What if it takes you too?’’

‘’I’m sure, I’ll make it work with us believe me, and if it takes me I’ll be with Cas, so I’m good.  
You just go and find Jack, he’s been gone for too long and I have a feeling you know better where the kid might be than me.’’  
  
Sam nodded.  
‘’Goodluck, and be careful okay? If anything goes wrong, call me, right away.’’ 

‘’I told you I can do this alone, now get your ass out of here and have fun playing detective.’’ 

Sam rolled his eyes. But turned around and went up the stairs.

‘’Hey Sam?’’ 

‘’Yeah?’’ 

‘’Bitch.’’ 

Sam smiled. 

‘’Jerk.’’ 

And the door of the bunker closed. 

‘’Right, time to get to work.’’ Dean said to no one. 

He drew the sigil carefully, then double checked to see if there were no open spaces or little spots that could become a problem. 

After that he took the purgatory flower, ( that had been a bitch to get without his guardian angel, and also didn’t help that the place brought back _a lot_ of memories of said angel ) a knife from hell, ( Ruby’s trusty weapon should work just fine), and a cross from heaven. (thank god they lived in the bunker and somehow had it laying around, he did not want to deal with Cas’ less loveable family ever again. ) 

He placed the knife on his hand, and sighed. 

‘’Cas, I don’t know if u can hear me. probably not, but I need you to know that, that, from the start I always had to protect Sam ya’ know. I had to, and I wanted to, of course, but I guess somewhere along the way I wanted to protect everyone else too, which is impossible because, well, we’ve met god, and he’s one angry little asshole.  
But point is, I never had anyone to protect me, until you started to watch over me, and although I acted like a child about it, and like it wasn’t appreciated, for the first time in my life, I knew what it felt like to feel safe, to be able to go to sleep without being scared to wake up covered in blood, or be scared to not wake up at all, I felt how nice it was to be, to just be.’’

Dean gave a sad smile, a wave of nostalgic about the good days with Cas hitting him.  
  
‘’It was nice to just be with you, and Cas, I promise you, we’re going to be together again. I’m gonna get you back.’’  
  
Dean slowly dragged ruby’s knife over his hand and after muttering a few words in Latin he put it down in the middle of the trap, he then touched the cross with his still bleeding hand and said the Enochian part of the spell, lastly he pulled out the pedals of the flower from purgatory and said a line in leviathan ( yeah, those motherfuckers had their own language, and it sucked ). 

Nothing happened for what seemed like way too long, and Dean was nervously counting the seconds in his head. 

Just when he was about to throw a tantrum and start punching things, a black goo spilled all over the sigil, it absorbed all the things laying in it and slowly formed a figure. 

It was wearing familiar clothes, had short brown hair, and a killer jawline. 

Dean was looking at a mirror image of himself.  
A normal person would have probably freaked out right about now but Dean was used to seeing this kinda shit, courtesy of dealing with a shifter every other week and another end of the world the week after that. 

‘’Hello Dean.’’ The Empty said mockingly, using Cas voice to do so.  
  
Dean had to do his best to act like it didn’t bother him.

‘’Hate to break it to you, but I don’t sound like that.’’ 

‘’Ah yes.’’ The Empty coughed, and when it spoke again, this time it was Dean’s voice he was using. ‘’Still had the last one I talked to stuck in my throat.’’ 

Dean clenched his teeth. But didn’t say anything.

‘’Which is probably the reason you came up with the brilliant, self destructing plan to summon me, isn’t it? Well good job dumbass, because your little angel isn’t going anywhere and I _hate_ being awake. So release me and save yourself.’’

  
Cas had mentioned once that the Empty had its ways of getting into your head, probably where the self destructing part and the creepy smile Dean never wanted to see on his own face ever again came from. 

‘’The only destructing we’ll be doing is on you.’’ Dean said, picking the scythe from where he’d hidden it under the map table.

‘’Hhm… ‘’ the Empty hummed. ‘’Death’s scythe, pointy little thing that is. Not a big fan myself but I guess if you want to be dramatic it’s an off switch for some of us.’’

‘’For you too right? The scythe can kill God, his sister, death and everything in between. Including you.’’  
  
‘’If that’s what you want to think, but just know that killing me won’t bring Castiel back.  
What it _will_ do is release everything in the Empty including your handsome angel, but they can’t go to heaven, nor hell, and of course not wander the earth as ghosts, so they’d all be stuck glitching from one place to another, in complete and utter never ending misery being banished from all places dead things go over and over and over again.’’

‘’But I won’t kill you if you bring Cas back, so that won’t happen.’’ 

The Empty laughed, hysterically. 

‘’That’s cute Dean, and dumb, because there’s nothing to

gain for you if I die, but you know what, it’s also very selfish too.  
Poor Castiel is at peace now. He’s sleeping perfectly fine, like _I_ should be doing.’’ 

The Empty switched tones in the last part of that sentence, Dean noticed it did that a lot, going from overly happy to almost growling from anger. 

‘’He isn’t at peace, he told me he hated that place, it’s worse than hell because at least hell is something.’’

‘’No, I am much better than that festering, burning, poisonous place, even if I’m nothing.’’  
  
The Empty stepped closer, now standing right in front of Dean, with the sigil being the only thing holding it back.  
  
‘’Listen very carefully Dean, Castiel died fulfilling my deal, and I’m very …precise about my deals. I do not do take backs, but, not only did he die knowing what was coming, he died saving _you._

He died for you and it was his choice. Now who are you to take that away from him?’’  
  
Dean was losing his patience.

This wasn’t some kind of game, this was Cas’ life they were talking about.

‘’I don’t give a shit about your stupid deal, you’re full of crap and Cas wants to live.  
So If you don’t bring him back right the fuck now I will cut you open and flip you inside out.’’

‘’No need for such Language.’’ 

Dean pointed the scythe at the Empty’s throat, it put its hands in the air. 

‘’So, you want me to wake Castiel up from _eternal peace_ and happiness, just for you to ignore his little feelings so he can be miserable again?’’ 

‘’Yes and no.’’ 

‘’You know I’ve been in his head right? Seen things he doesn’t want me to see.’’

‘’I don’t care.’’

‘’So I should probably know that he doesn’t want this, right?’’

‘’You’re lying.’’

‘’Your willing to bet your boyfriends existence on me lying?’’  
  
‘’Yes, Because you are.’’ 

‘’God you people are all so annoying! So stubborn. So dumb, so soul crushingly desperate!  
You know what. Fine, I’ll bring him back…’’

‘’Great. Get on with it.’’

  
‘’Ta-ta-ta. I’m not gonna break a deal over nothing. If you want Casti-feel back, you need to make a deal with me.’’

Dean laughed.  
‘’I’m a Winchester, we don’t exactly have a clear history with following deals.’’

‘’That’s why the deal is not about your life.’’ 

Dean frowned. 

‘’My _proposal_ or so to speak your only option besides Castiel suffering for eternity stuck between heaven and hell or resting in peace, is that when he comes back to your world, he can never come back to mine.’’

‘’He can never go back to the Empty?’’

‘’That’s right.’’ 

‘’And why would that be a hard deal for me to make? Because I’m not getting what’s the catch for you here.’’ 

The Empty smiled creepily. 

‘’That angel will see you die, watch your brother die, and watch his _adopted_ son die, he will be alone, in a world that will be gone or has no place for him, in a universe that has always worked against him with no one else besides him.’’ 

‘’You want to make Cas immortal.’’

‘’Something brought to life again by nothing, will live until everything is nothing.’’

Dean swallowed.  
It felt very wrong to accept this deal, immortal sounds great at first glance, but Dean didn’t want to think about the angel being completely alone after he was gone.

Then again, Cas was immortal before, and he had always seemed fine with it, and the Empty was right, there was no other option.  
Dean wasn’t going to leave Castiel in nothingness, not when the angel deserved the world, deserved to live, even if it was forever. 

He took the scythe away from the Empty’s neck.

‘’I accept.’’

The Empty’s smile grew.

The voice switched to Castiel’s again as it said. ‘’You’re a bad man Dean Winchester.’’  
  
_________________________

Castiel woke up.  
Which was wrong on its own, he was supposed to be dead, forever, stuck in the Empty, because he saved the life of the man he loved. 

He opened his eyes and saw the man he loved.

  
‘’Dean.’’  
  
‘’Cas!’’ Dean dropped whatever he’d been holding and swinged his arms around Castiel, who was still sitting on the ground with a feeling comparable with jetlag.

  
‘’What have you done?’’ the angel said, voice low and almost growling as he pushed Dean off of him. 

‘’Uh, I- I saved you.’’ 

‘’No, you did something incredibly dumb. I made a deal, with a cosmic entity, I don’t know what you did to break it but I have a feeling its reckless and dangerous.’’

‘’What? You just wanted me to let you rot there? With that kind of fate?’’  
  
‘’All angels have that fate Dean! I’m not an exceptions just because you want me to be!’’ 

‘’You’re not all angels.’’ 

‘’Then what am I?’’ 

Dean looked away.

‘’I made a choice Dean, I died saving you, and it was my choice, I will never regret making that choice, and I hope my choice isn’t for nothing and you didn’t do something that would bring your life in danger, but if you brought me back, and want me to deny or ignore what I said before I died, then you can send me back. I don’t want my memories of you to be lies.’’ 

‘’Have you heard my prayer?’’ 

Castiel said nothing.

‘’I prayed to you, when you were in the Empty, but I guess it didn’t go trough.’’ 

‘’Prayers don’t get through into the Empty, and even if they did, I wouldn’t be conscious enough to hear them.’’ 

‘’Right, okay.’’

Dean was silent after that.

‘’Why did you save me Dean?’’ Castiel asked again.

‘’Because you were always there.’’

  
Dean has said the same thing about Sam.

  
‘’And you’ve always protected me, you made me feel safe.’’

It had been Castiel’s Job since he came on earth, ordered by heaven and probably being the only order he had always been willing to carry out till the end.

‘’I saved you because I need you.’’ 

Castiel has heard that before.  
In a crypt where he had been brainwashed and lost and had thought that Dean was going to say something else.

‘’Because I care about you.’ 

‘’You care about the whole world.’’  
  
‘’Cas, I’ve never felt more seen by anyone in this world, you’re the one person on this earth who’s seen everything I did, who I am, and still loves me.’’  
Dean took a shaky breath. ‘’And I saved you because I love you too.’’  
  
‘’What?’’  
Castiel looked at him with shock his eyes, and confusion on his face.  
  
Dean laughed while a tear made its way down his cheek.  
He’d been holding this back for so long, and finally saying it out loud was scaring, and weird, but it also was everything Dean has ever wanted since he met Castiel.

’’I love you okay? I think I’ve loved you for a long time but I always though I’m just a guy and you’re an angel and I don’t deserve you, and I’m sorry it took me so long to say it, I’m sorry you had to die for it. I’m an idiot. I-‘’

Dean never got to finish that sentence, because Castiel had stepped closer and was currently putting his hand on Dean’s cheek. 

Castiel stroked a tear away with his thumb as he looked Dean in his eyes.  
‘’You were never just a guy, and you deserve more than me, more than everything.’’ 

And then Castiel kissed him.

And Dean kissed back right away, but not with his normal rush or roughness.  
It was tender, soft, slow, and everything a first kiss should be. 

Dean opened his mouth a bit and Castiel got the hint, brushing Dean’s tongue slightly with his, before breaking apart.   
Dean thought he was being a tease, Castiel though that Dean needed to remember he had to get air into his lungs to breathe.

‘’Wow.’’ Dean said, eyes wide and pupils big.

‘’Wow.’’ Cas smiled.

‘’We should’ve done this so much sooner.’’

‘’Yes, but I could wait another eternity if it means I get to have this.’’

Dean swallowed, the deal he made with the Empty in the back of his mind.

  
‘’Cas?’’ 

‘’Yes Dean?’’

  
  
‘’We’re doing too much talking.’’  
  
Now was not the time to bring up the deal, he just got Cas back.  
He didn’t want to ruin the mood.

‘’Agreed.’’ 

This time Dean brought his lips to Cas’s.  
And it still felt just as amazing as the first time.  
Empty deals quickly forgotten as Dean let himself drown in the feelings of kissing Cas.  
He got _his_ Cas back. His big win,

______________________________  
  
  
‘’CAS!’’  
Jack came bursting into the door, Sam fresh on his tail.

Dean and Cas pulled apart quickly, just when Sam also appeared in the doorway. 

‘’You guys should really learn how to knock.’’ Dean said, rolling his eyes. 

Jack ran forward and let himself fall into Cas’s arms, Cas catching him with ease.  
‘’I thought you were gone- I thought the empty…’’ 

‘’Dean got me back.’’ Castiel smiled at the young boy, slowly rubbing circles on the back of his head to calm him down a bit.  
  
‘’How?’’

Cas send a glare at Dean, who shrugged. 

‘’It’s not important right now. We got him back, that’s all that matters.’’ Dean said.

‘’So you guys…?’’ Sam began. 

‘’I guess so.’’ Dean said at the same time Cas said: ‘’yes.’’ 

‘’Was about time both of you figure that out.’’ Sam sighed, he joined the rest of them who were now all sitting on Cas’s bed, it was a bit cramped with 3 of them being grown, and higher than your average guy, but they made it work by giving each other no personal space whatsoever. 

‘’So what do we do now?’’ Jack said.  
  
‘’Well, I say let’s find god and stab him.’’ 

‘’I assume you know that my fath- _Chuck_ cannot be stabbed.’’ 

‘’Maybe not with any regular blade.’’ Dean grinned as he jumped off the bed and grabbed the scythe. ‘’But this bad boy oughta do the trick.’’

‘’Is that Billie’s scythe?’’ Jack frowned. 

‘’Yeah, and it’s also the thing that’s gonna solve this damn mess, and give us a hard earned vacation.’’   
______________________________

It had been silent for a few weeks.

Like _completely_ radio silent.

  
Because they figured out very quickly that Chuck had left nobody on the planet except for his final draft.

And it was horrifying.  
Dean had secretly always wondered what it would be like to be the last person on earth, he thought it would be easier not having to put up with everyone’s bullshit. 

But now that he was, along with his family, it was scary as hell.  
The only time they came out of the bunker was to buy weapons and stuff to prepare for god, or groceries, and they didn’t do it often because being confronted with the fact that there’s no one else on the world is very confronting. 

Even Cas didn’t like the quiet, and he would often wander the kitchen late at night and try to pick something up on angel radio, Dean would find him in these times and they would talk in hushed voices before going back to the room they now shared.  
  
Eventually, after a month of calm before the storm, something happened. 

It started out as whispers amongst the angels, Castiel was surprised to hear them.  
He assumed Chuck had murdered them all, they never were this silent for such a long time, but they too must’ve felt uneasy at the way God had been behaving. 

It grew louder in mere seconds, Castiel dropped the coffee Dean had handed him and groaned at the piercing headache that usually came along with his siblings feeling stressed. 

‘’Cas?’’ Dean was at his side in seconds, taking his hand and guiding him to a chair, he didn’t let go of Cas’ hand once they sat down.

‘’Angelradio- it’s, it’s, loud.’’ 

‘’What are they saying?’’

‘’Don’t know- they, they’re all, talking-‘’ 

‘’Can you focus on one of them?’’

If Castiel could roll his eyes at that, he would’ve.  
Trying to focus on one angel when thousand of celestial beings were screaming in your head, it was like finding a needle in a haystack.  
Normally he would wait for it to calm down until there were fewer angels left and the message could be heard, but after a few minutes when they still hadn’t gone even a few decibels down and Dean’s face had grown full of worry, he supposed maybe it was worth a shot. 

‘’I’m going to try.’’ He grunted out trough clenched teeth.

Dean nodded and squeezed his hand, giving Cas a bit of reassurement he didn’t know he needed doing so.  
if Castiel could focus his grace on one angel he could try and establish a connection.  
He just had to make sure that that angel wouldn’t use that connection to his own advantage.  
After all, Heaven still wasn’t his biggest fan, even after all this time. 

Suddenly he knew which angel could help him. 

He opened his eyes and felt them fill with his familiar grace, making it so that he could read the different connections to heaven,after searching for a while he found the one he was looking for and he tried it out.  
‘’Joshua?’’ 

‘’Castiel. Good to hear you’re alive.’’ 

‘’What’s happening brother?’’ 

‘’Our father has been spotted on earth, you have to prepare, he could very well finish all of heaven when he’s done with his vengeance on earth.  
You need to ward the scythe, as far as I’m aware God doesn’t know you have it in possession yet, if he comes to close presence to it he will be able to feel it.’’  
  
‘’How do I ward it?’’  
  
‘’I will send the warding through this connection, now you all need to get ready, I’m afraid this will not be easy.’’

‘’Thank you Joshua, we will give it everything we have.’’ 

‘’Goodluck Castiel, and for what it’s worth, I’m rooting for you, you and the Winchester boys.’’  
  
Castiel send his brother a last wave of gratitude and then let the connection fade, luckily the other angels voices faded along with it, he had a feeling Joshua might’ve had something to do with that.

  
‘’You good?’’ 

‘’Get Sam and Jack. Now.’’ 

Dean didn’t question it, already having guessed what was going on, he simply nodded and went to get Sam and Jack, also thinking ahead and grabbing the scythe while he was at it. 

After Cas had filled everyone in, they got ready for Chuck.  
Castiel put up sigils that would help his grace replenish a little faster, it didn’t do much in the grand scheme of things but it would give him a quick power up if he needed it.  
After that he warded the scythe with the warding Joshua had left in his head, it were symbols Castiel did not recognise. 

Together they had carefullyhidden Billie’s scythe under the table in the hopes God couldn’t see it.  
Dean and Sam were now busy loading their guns with melted down angel blades and Jack went through the battle tactics he had learned from all of them one last time with his own angel blade.  
  
When they had all finished, they could only wait.  
And they didn’t have to wait long.

Chuck arrived in style, thunder was heard as he walked down the stairs of the bunker and lightbulb were flashing.  
He seemed to take ages.

Dean didn’t have the patience for this.  
‘’I know you’re god, but do you have to be _this_ dramatic?’’ He sighed. 

‘’I know you’re a Winchester, but do you have to be so rude?’’ Chuck said when he finally stood facing them.  
‘’This is the final chapter Dean, this final showdown. Please keep your witty rewards for the bloopers and let’s face this with some dignity.’’ 

‘’You don’t know what dignity is, you have controlled them their entire lives, and I suggest you stop talking now so you can go down with your last bit of dignity.’’ Castiel bit back. 

‘’Oh! My beloved rebel son! Back so soon? How was your little trip to the empty? Heard the weather there is.. well nothing really.’’

Castiel tightened the grip on his angel blade but said nothing in return. 

‘’The most surprising thing about all this, might be your coming out scene Cas. Not a big fan of the ‘’gays have to die in a tragic way and never get what they want’’ trope but at least it was romantic and dramatic, I love me some sacrificing for the people you love. but I think Sam and Dean know all about that.’’  
  
‘’Fuck you.’’ Sam said. 

‘’Sam, shut up. The spotlight isn’t on you right now.’’  
Chuck waved his hand and Sam fell silent while an invisible force pinned him to the wall. 

‘’Let him go!’’ Jack yelled. 

‘’You’re boring me too.’’  
Chuck waved his hand again and Jack too could say nothing as he joined the wall next to Sam.  
  
‘’Sammy?!’’’ 

‘’Jack!’’ 

‘’Oh shut up you two, they’re fine. Just enjoying the show. Now where were we? Oh yeah! Thats right, Cas, did you know he made another deal to get you back?’’  
  
‘’What?’’ Cas asked, confused and concerned as he turned towards Dean.

‘’Don’t listen to him.’’ Dean said. 

‘’What?’’ Chuck laughed. ‘’Do you really think that the Empty would just break _that_ deal, without making another?’’

Castiel really wanted to question Dean about this, but he couldn’t let chuck get into his head, not now, not when they were this close. Chuck had been controlling things enough as it is, and if he really was the only one with any kind of say in how this played out, any kind of free will left, then Cas was the one who needed to end this. 

‘’I’m sorry _Father_ but I’m afraid you can’t put words in my head anymore.  
I’m not another of your machine’s to control.’’ he said defiantly.  
  
Chuck chuckled before stepping closer.  
‘’No, you’re _his_ machine now.’’ He whispered into Cas’ ear with a sneer.  
  
Then in one quick movement, Chuck grabbed the angel blade out of Cas’ hand and shoved it in his stomach. 

Castiel gasped and fell to the ground as Chuck pulled the blade out, muffled protest were heard of Jack and Sam. Dean rushed over and tried to stop the bleeding with his hands, panic and shock clear in his eyes.

  
Then Cas felt something, it wasn’t his grace, no, his grace couldn’t heal this kind of wound made by an angelblade, not even with the sigils.  
It was something darker.

Something older.  
He felt it heal the wound, he felt the skin close again and his grace calm down.  
He took Dean’s hand and carefully pulled it away from the wound. 

There was nothing to proof it was even there except for the blood still on Dean’s hands. 

‘’I think Dean has got some explaining to do, you see Cas, you’re immortal now, doomed to be alone withou-…’’ 

Dean didn’t listen as Chuck went on his little rant, because the motherfucker had turned his back to them and was now talking to thin air as he walked across the room doing his villain speech. 

So he had one shot and he took it, Dean reached for the scythe and stabbed it trough God’s back before the omnipotent being could even register Dean was now standing behind him.

‘’I think you got some minding your own business to do.’’ Dean whispered in Chuck’s ear as he choked on his own blood.  
  
Chuck staggered back, and eventually fell to the ground.

Both Jack and Sam fell to the ground as well, Chucks hold on them gone.  
  
‘’Death’s …scythe.’’ God chuckled with a hoarse voice.  
  
‘’I- Forgot.. ‘’ A cracked laugh escaped his mouth.  
‘’I… hate, p-p-plotholes.’’  
Chuck’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, and his head dropped to the ground. 

‘’Is he-..?’’ Dean asked carefully. 

Cas felt the room with his grace.  
He could not sense God’s presence. 

‘’He’s dead.’’ He declared. 

‘’Holy shit.’’ Dean dropped the scythe with a mix of shock and happiness, a small smile on his face but eyes big. ‘’I killed god.’’ 

‘’Please tell me you’re not gonna make another t-shirt.’’ Sam said.

‘’I’ll make all the damn t-shirts I want. We fucking did it.’’

‘’Hey, are- are the people y’know?’’ Sam asked. 

Castiel waved his hand and turned the tv on, a live news channel appeared on the screen, a woman talking like nothing had happened and showing a game of football.  
  
Dean took Cas’ hand and dragged him over to were Sam and Jack were now standing.  
Dean pulled them all together in a groupshug as realisation hit him. 

‘’We’re free. We’re free!’’ He laughed as he gripped onto all of them. 

They stood like for that for a while, just hugging each other and whispering words of relief. 

After that Sam went to grab them some beers and Dean joined him in the kitchen a little later to make some burgers, Cas went to get pie with Jack. 

After all, they were celebrating, and what’s a celebration without pie?  
________________________________

A few weeks past, life went on.  
The hunts seemed reasonably easier, Dean guessed it was because Chuck made them harder for them, and now that he was gone, Dean and Sam really noticed how experienced they were at this.

They weren’t even needed as much anymore, Jody and her girls could handle most hunts, and sometimes Jack would tag along with them, like he was doing tonight. 

Eileen moved into the bunker as well, and they were having a date night tonight.  
  
Meaning Cas and Dean had the bunker all to themselves, naturally that meant they were now laying in bed, worn out and sweaty.

  
‘’I said it before and I’ll say it again, we should’ve done that so much sooner.’’ Dean said, a grin on his face.

  
‘’Too bad you were painfully oblivious about the fact we could do this back then.’’  
Castiel smiled, he laying on Dean’s chest and absently drawing circles on his stomach with his finger. 

‘’Hey! I’m sorry I never got the chance to experiment, it’s not like I had such a warm and accepting household- you know it, it never meant I didn’t want to do this, I just had this little voice saying I couldn’t.’’ 

‘’Why was it saying that?’’

‘’I know it’s stupid but, I guess, I was scared of not being accepted, or something, kinda my dad’s fault, some people don’t like it when they see two men kissing, at least the people my dad used to hang around, and with us hunting- we come across a lot of people like that, and I never realised that most people actually don’t care.’’  
  
‘’Angels don’t have genders, so I never really got the stigma around homosexuality, but I find it weird that it bothers people when it has nothing to do with them. They are not being affected by it in any way, so why do they care so much?’’Castiel frowned and looked up to Dean. 

‘’I wish I knew Cas, I wish I knew.’’

They were silent for a few seconds, until Cas remembered something.  
  
‘’Dean?’’ 

‘’Yeah?’’ 

‘’What Chuck said, when- when I was stabbed. What did he mean by that?’’ 

Dean looked at Cas, his mouth fell open a bit, and he blinked.  
He had no other reaction besides that. 

‘’He said I was immortal, but I’ve always been that. So I didn’t think much of it.. except..’’ 

‘’Except what?’’ 

‘’Except when the stab wound healed, it wasn’t my grace doing it. It was something dark, something old, and Chuck said you made a deal.’’

‘’I- I…’’ 

Castiel had been trying to avoid this topic for a while now, he just wanted to bathe in the presence of Dean’s happiness, Dean’s contentedness, for a little while longer.  
Whatever this deal was, he felt how distressed it made Dean when Chuck mentioned it, and how it did the same thing again right now.

But he needed to know.  
He couldn’t lie to himself any longer. 

‘’Dean, I’m not angry.

Honestly I think, I think I can never _really_ be angry at you.  
I used to feel frustrated, sometimes, but even after that one time I left, when I was ready to move on from you, I came back. I hope you know I will always find my way back to you.  
So no matter what deal you made, no matter what consequences, I need you to tell me, and we can deal with whatever it is, _together._ ’’  
  
‘’Cas, you really do know how to make a man blush.’’ 

‘’ _Dean_.’’ 

‘’Alright, yeah, I know. I’m not flirting my way outta this one. Okay, so. I summoned the Empty, because I wanted to get you back.’’

‘’And?’’ 

‘’And, I demanded it to bring you back.’’ 

‘’Or?’’ 

‘’Or I would .. uh.. Kill it.’’ 

‘’You wanted to _kill_ the empty?’’ 

‘’Yeah.’’ 

‘’Do you know what happens when you _kill_ the Empty?’’ 

‘’I got the picture from it, yeah.’’ 

‘’And you still thought it was a good idea to _bargain_?’’ 

‘’Yup, but save that frustration directed at my brilliant ideas for later, it- it gets worse, and I kind of don’t want to joke about it.’’

Dean Winchester passing up an opportunity to use humor as a coping mechanism?  
Maybe heaven _was_ falling. 

‘’Okay. I’ll save my _frustration_ for after you’ve finished talking.’’ 

‘’Thanks, so it gave me this proposal, I could let you rot in the empty, or kill the empty and have you stuck glitching between heaven, hell, and everything in between, _or_ I could chose to get you out of the Empty, but- you could never go back to the Empty.’’

‘’I- I can’t go to the Empty when I die?’’ Castiel tilted his head and frowned. 

Dean stared at the familiar movement before answering.

‘’No, you can’t die altogether.’’  
  
It hit Cas harder then he’d expected.

He sat up slowly in the bed, leaning against the headboard for stability, because for something that couldn’t die, he was feeling incredibly weak right now.  
His muscles ached and his head throbbed at the news.  
  
Eventually after a while, he talked again.  
‘’Everything dies eventually.’’  
It was a statement, a fact.  
Something that Castiel had knew since the beginning of time.  
Things ended, things died.

‘’The Empty said the deal was that something brought to life again by nothing, will live until everything is nothing.’’ 

‘’So.. I can die? When everything else is gone?’’

‘’I don’t know Cas.’’ 

‘’When everything is nothing.. I, I need to live without you?’’ 

‘’Yeah.’’ Tears shot into Deans eyes.  
He looked guilty, and emotional. 

Castiel wished he could relate, he just felt empty, like he was floating somewhere across reality. 

‘’I need to live without Sam, without Jack?’’ 

‘’I, I think so. I’m sorry Cas. I really am, I wished I had another choice, and I know its fucking selfish, but I, I can’t, I just can’t live without you.’’ Dean cupped Cas’ face with his hand as more tears streamed down his face, the angel was snapped back to now at the touch. 

‘’I don’t think you’re selfish Dean.’’ 

‘’I am. It was selfish of me.’’

‘’If it were me, I’m afraid I would’ve done the same, and it’s still many years before you will be gone, and when the time comes, I know I will remember everyday I spend with you, and right now I will cherish every moment I get to have with you.’’

  
Castiel took Dean’s hand in his and smiled.  
‘’Happiness isn’t in the having Dean, It’s in the just being.’’ 

Dean let out something that resembled a chuckle, and smiled, tears still slowly rolling down his face. 

‘’I love you you big sap.’’ Dean brought his forehead to Cas and the angel wiped away a tear. 

‘’I love you too.’’  
They closed their already small distance between each other with a kiss.  
_____________________________________

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I hoped I satisfied you a bit more with this ending than supernatural did with 15x19 to me. 
> 
> The ''real'' end is near, and it scares me a lot, so naturally, I wrote this.


End file.
